Sep
14
2008
I watched an episode of MTV’s reality hit, “The Hills” once, and after I threw my can of diet coke at the Television, I felt a sudden urge to stick a finger down my throat and purge the filth away. The show, that documents the trials and tribulations of one Lauren Conrad, takes place in Los Angeles and cradles a cast pretentious young twenty-something’s as they work at their iconic jobs, spend mommy and daddy’s money, and fight with each other like cats in a sack. This series was also responsible for spawning one of the most horrible, media-thirsty couple ever to have hit the Hollywood scene: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.
Who are these people? But more importantly, why must I see them on every magazine cover in the grocery store and on every single entertainment news channel on TV?
Montag, who has apparently dipped her little manicured toes in every single media outlet there is, prides herself as a professional reality television star. She also works as an events planner, has a clothing line under the name “Heidiwood,” and has even tried her luck with singing- puke. She is worth about 1.5 million, 3 million when paired with her hangnail of a boyfriend and generates the bulk of her money by making public appearances at events and clubs openings.
Pratt is a bonafide douche bag and leaches onto his girlfriend’s persona in order to stay afloat. Mary-Kate Olsen once told David Letterman in an interview that Pratt played soccer for their high school team. She described him as “short tempered” and explained that he would often throw a fit and walk off the field. Pratt responded to Olsen by calling her a “troll.” Well now, isn’t that the teacup calling the kettle black? Dude, YOU LOOK LIKE A TROLL!
Guess what Heidi and Spencer:
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I too once witnessed the horror that is the hills. Afterward I went down a shame spiral the like of which have not been seen before. You can not watch the Hills and not come out the other side changed, but not for the better…..
I think Heidi and Spencypoo should get your drawing tattooed on their asses. Then I will spank their tattoos until they are hot and red. Those CUNTWAGONS!!!!
Eww I can’t stand them either. Awesome blog myke!